Re: it's my dreams you take. (oh look, another!)

sOOPER sPUUN · sOOPER sPUUN on Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:24 pm

"It is 2 in the morning, what could you possibly want from me!" He shouted through the connection. He sounded angry, but we both knew he wasn't. "Right, cause you're never up past midnight, are you?" Not the most original comeback, but it worked. "Alright man," Kam continued "what do you need?" Kam, full name Kamuelai, was basically the nerd to end all nerds. He tried to act like he wasn't, but everyone knew he was. Not that I was above a good geek-out session, but he's the quintessential 'find anything in 4 seconds on the back alleys of the Internet, work for the FBI' guy. He could've worked for the FBI actually, said he "wasn't down with the bureaucracy of it all." Now he helped people like us out, sometimes as a friend, sometimes for delicious cakes. I knew, I had made most of them. "Where does she live, again?" He asked, and I laughed even more. "Where does... who live?" "Phyllis Diller, who do you think I'm carrying right now? I know it's a loft near downtown, but I can't remember the number." Then Kam laughed. "Are you serious, man?" He cried between breaths, "You went to, quote unquote, rescue her," He said in his manliest voice "and you forgot her address? Oh that is too good. Too good, I say!"

"It's very good. Now I you can either tell me where she lives, or I can walk there and leave her to wake up with you." That stopped Kam's laughing almost immediately. "Oh God no! Just, just hang on!" He yelled loudly. Within three seconds, Kam's voice came through again. I heard the faint clicking of a keyboard, "Okay, it's 8270, 12th Avenue." Worry flashed in my brain at how fast he could find where I lived, I'd have to talk to him about some kind of security. "I find it amazing you can run a business, with your memory." Kam added. I could almost feel the insult before it came out of his mouth, "I'm surprised you can carry on a conversation with a living thing, with your not-leaving-the-house-ever." Okay it was a bad insult, but still. "Oh ha ha." Kam replied sarcastically, "Just make sure you know where your head is, I don't have time to tell you everything. Some people actually sleep at night." "I'm sure some people do. Good night, Kam. Don't let the bad guys bite." And without giving Kam time to answer, he snapped his phone snapped shut. "Alright," I felt him exhale as he bent down to pick me up again. "let's go, missy." I smiled once more as I made sure to turn my face toward his jacket.

This wasn't the first time this had happened, getting kidnapped that is; but it was the first time to happen in a while, about five years. You would think he'd get tired of the whole routine: finding his way to whichever 'hideout' I had been locked in, breaking in to said hideout while "kicking bad guy ass". I'd never seen a single bruise, although I never had checked if they were alive. The whole event would usually end with a late night trip to a local 24 hour diner to make up for his efforts. There had been some occasions where I didn't actually need his help to escape, but he knew I would feel bad and buy him food. I enjoyed it, to be honest. He didn't have to come for me, and he didn't get paid, other than food. I had a vague idea of what the deal was: when I was born, I basically became his protectorate because of my mother, though I wasn't sure how that agreement had gone down. He had been a lifelong friend of my mom's, which put him at ..at least 65. I was willing to bet he'd been around much longer, but he would never tell me the exact number. And what's more, he'd enlisted Kam to delete any and all past online record of him, which frustrated the piss out of me. That and the fact that people couldn't figure out that I didn't posses any kind of extremely supernatural powers.

More often than not they called me, they being the asinine individuals who called themselves kidnappers, a Dhamphir. After the first time I heard it, I did some extensive research, which made me feel kind of pathetic. I found it rather incorrect being that my dad, what I'd been told of him, is a human and my mother ..was one for most of her life. My existence played out something like a female version of Blade, but with less vengeance. I had "fangs"; sharp, nasty ones. They were significantly smaller, but they could do the job until I was dead. I did, in fact, need to "drink" blood to survive, but nowhere near the amount a "normal" vampire has to. Like every fiction book you've ever read, we did have supernatural strength and speed. I, of course, wasn't as strong as a typical female vampire, but I could kick human ass if I wanted. And no, sunlight has never caused me to spontaneously combust. To top all that, I had been told that when I did die, I would effectively inherit all the qualities of an undead vampire, so that boosted my self esteem a bit. Since I'd never met one, I didn't have an opinion on actual Dhamphirs, if they even existed, but I'd been getting a bit tired of being taken away in a nasty van to a nasty basement. As I was carried back to my house for the fifth time, I started to consider carrying a gun, or at least a notarized disclaimer that I couldn't produce any gene that made anyone immortal.

I wasn't looked down upon or snubbed in the vamp community, which continued to surprise me. I was mostly the object of great pity. To quote those books again, there is indeed a virus that resides in a vamp's DNA, and humans can be turned, no matter what Wikipedia page you've read. My mother, my once human mother, was the prime example of that. When she was around five months pregnant, she was bitten and turned, at which time, said virus fused with the DNA in my tiny, tiny body. Unfortunately, it didn't have enough time to fully mold everything that it normally would, and so I ended up being born something like a Dhamphir, but not really. Teething, I was told, had been pretty interesting, as I bit through every human baby device I was given, ultimately ending in some unconventional chewing devices, meaning dog toys. My sister, however, was a fully alive vampire, as mom found someone else after she turned, but no one had ever told her she was stronger than I was. It kept her in check, in a devious, treachery-filled sort of way. Not that I cared now, she never got to be saved by any super sexy men. She was never kidnapped either, but that's the price you gotta pay.

eyelinerislife · eyelinerislife on Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:33 pm

Dood!

I want more!

Fleur de Lis · Fleur de Lis on Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:17 pm

I like this one...This one sounds really good.

sOOPER sPUUN · sOOPER sPUUN on Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:58 pm

holy shit. i'm going to kill someone.
the shit was all typed out. i had even started working on the update after this one,
when Firefox decided to go apeshit (shit is my favorite word today) and shut itself down.
i may take this out on my cat. since i won't have her much longer anyway.
oh yeah, did i tell you i'm moving? just across the street from where i live now, literally.
nevertheless, i probably won't have intranets (i didn't think that was actually a word but
i guess it is. hmm.) access for at least three days sometime in the next two weeks. i don't
know which days those will be. oh and by the way, go check the Romance myspace, b-ryar
blogged it up (the address is a coffee shop, which i laughed about for almost 5 minutes straight).
oh and by the other way (no it's not a pun, or a play on words)...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANKEH./!!!!!!!
i love you, man. (insert multiple birthday hugs here. right here.)

(here too.)

Fleur de Lis · Fleur de Lis on Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:01 pm

Sorry you will lose the intranets but Very glad to see you agin!
I go give my blood tomorrow for Frank!
I have been suffering VERY bad depression and WB so I was REALLY happy to see even your rant!

Happy Halloweeen!!!!!!

eyelinerislife · eyelinerislife on Fri Oct 31, 2008 4:50 pm

Firefox constantly upsets me.
Bob's blog, however, did not. I'm still not sure whether or not that was a hacker or not who posted that message as amny seem to think, but just the thought that Bob would want to challenge Soulja Boy fills me with so much happiness. Really.

God damn, Frank, is it berfday time already?!

sOOPER sPUUN · sOOPER sPUUN on Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:48 pm

I wasn't looked down upon or snubbed in the vamp community, which continued to surprise me. I was mostly the object of great pity. To quote those books again, there is indeed a virus that resides in a vamp's DNA, and humans can be turned, no matter what Wikipedia page you've read. My mother, my once human mother, was the prime example of that. When she was around five months pregnant, she was bitten and turned, at which time, said virus fused with the DNA in my tiny, tiny body. Unfortunately, it didn't have enough time to fully mold everything that it normally would, and so I ended up being born something like a Dhamphir, but not really. Teething, I was told, had been pretty interesting, as I bit through every human baby device I was given, ultimately ending in some unconventional chewing devices, meaning dog toys. My sister, however, was a fully alive vampire, as mom found someone else after she turned, but no one had ever told her she was stronger than I was. It kept her in check, in a devious, treachery-filled sort of way. Not that I cared now, she never got to be saved by any super sexy men. She was never kidnapped either, but that's the price you gotta pay.

It was about this time that I noticed that he had begun to talk to himself, rather intently. "...can't understand a pretty simple fact. I would think they'd send a memo out to each other, right?" He paused, and the notion that he was actually waiting for me to say something crawled into my head. That or he was thinking of another insult, though I found the first much more endearing. "I mean, you're what.. 29? 30? 32? I should know this. The point being, it's been a while since you've been born." 'Ah, the incompetence of the entire male gender never ceases to amaze.' "And the initial shock of the whole Damphir thing, which isn't real anyway, hs pretty much worn off, or at least I would have thought it did, being that it has been such a long time since you were born, as I was saying before. And the amount of technology that is available to these people, if you could even call them that anymore..." 'I could actually fall asleep.' "...is astonishing considering the fact that they can't effectively communicate to one another." He paused again, and I began to wonder if this routine was that heavily embedded into our subconscious, and why in Hell those pretty pheromones weren't making me any warmer. I suppose it was about the time we should have been sitting in that diner. 'And I'd be eating eggs, and coffee. Oh dear, sweet, hot coffee.' The thought of being warm made me cold, and I shivered involuntarily. In my defense, I had been cleaning in a rather unfashionable tank top, and I wasn't given the opportunity to grab a jacket on my way out. 'Ignorant bastards.'

To my surprise, he changed topics mid-sentence while continuing on our ever-lengthening walk to my apartment. "Well I can't do anything about the cold, so long as you have those things on your wrists. Admittedly, yes, I probably should have cut them off, but you have to understand there's only so many things I can remember to do." At the mention of the restraints on my wrists, and the matching set around my ankles, which had to be a lovely shade of raw by now, I became very uncomfortable. Nothing like old fashioned bone-on-bone contact to ensure someone's cooperation. Suddenly, a desperate need to stretch overwhelmed my shoulders, but I settled instead for another content-sounding sigh. "I guess my constant talking isn't really helping anyone, really. But it lets me get out my frustration when you get nabbed. Not you, you know, it's not your fault you get kidnapped, though I do think you should think about investing in some kind of weapon. It wasn't the easiest thing for me to take all of those guys, and I doubt you would have had as much success. No offense." I considered being offended, but all in all, he was right. "It gives me something to do. A good workout, if you will. And good food, though I still don't feel right about you paying for it all the time. But I get a decent fucking conversation! Have you ever really talked to Kam without somehow getting on the topic of The Black Eyed Peas? Well no, I guess you have." I smiled against his jacket, a memory of Kam floating up in my head. Once, I had taped his "mint condition" copy of Elephunk that he was "going to get signed one day" to the bottom of his computer chair; he didn't find it for a good seven hours, during which time I almost peed my pants.

"But really, I have no one to talk to. There's the occasional client, but most of them just want to pay me and leave, which is cool some days, but depressing on the other, you know?" He ran a service that operated similar to a bounty hunter's, only it was more for finding relatives who had been taken by any other of the numerous nasty baddies that inhabited the glorious region of the States we lived in. "And your mother! I've got to say, she's starting to worry me. I'm not sure your dad," 'Rich.' "sorry, Rich, can take much more of her. With all respect to him, she's got to find someone else to feed on. Talking to her is like talking to a ghost." I hadn't spoken to her in a while for that exact reason, though I was sure that he didn't know that. 'I probably should check on her.' He paused again, longer this time. For a few seconds I was able to hear his footsteps on the sidewalk and the sound of unstrained breathing through his jacket. I couldn't hear a heartbeat, though I didn't know what to make of that. I began allowing myself to fall asleep, willing myself to be warmer, when he took a deep breath. "And, you know, I get to see you." I felt my fingers twitch against themselves, and the urge to bite my nails came upon me. 'That's a new one!"

eyelinerislife · eyelinerislife on Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:57 pm

I missed this. Thank god you updated.X]

sOOPER sPUUN · sOOPER sPUUN on Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:11 pm

as you may or may not already know, way babies have been made. well no. just one. and because of this, i'm currently in self-debate about continuing to write anything at all. cause i mean, i wouldn't want to see this kind of stuff about my dad, though my dad is pretty.. ugly. i'll probably continue reading some of it. figured someone should know.

Fleur de Lis · Fleur de Lis on Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:07 am

well that's you choice sUP but remember as long as he struts around there will be stuff for it or future them to see

eyelinerislife · eyelinerislife on Mon Dec 01, 2008 3:43 pm

lindsey and g-man are sneaky. they'll lead their child to believe that internet and tv don't exist, so their child's mind won't be tainted and scarred by their mother and father's antics all across the web.